MotherBoard Blog

Got young kids and a stack of camp guides staring you in the face? So does Meagan Mulloy, who shares this  awesome look at the no-fun-to-solve riddle that is the summer schedule. Thanks for the repeat appearance on MotherBoard, Meagan – we love your funny and honest pieces!

It’s late February. I just finished cleaning up from our eighth and final Valentines celebration.  As I pack away the heart-shaped stickers and doilies, an overwhelming feeling of panic creeps up… the summer schedule.

Fellow moms, I know you feel me. It started with the release of the camp guide in late January. Ok, I lied. It started in early January just anticipating the release of the summer camp guide. The detailed reference guide from our local paper seems to taunt me every time I walk by, “You’d better get your act together. Time’s running out.”

The anxiety quietly grows as you hear rumblings that Mrs. Smith has registered her boys for sports camp and it’s nearly sold out. Or when you run into Mrs. Jones to find out only two spots remain in the Wednesday slot at sunshine camp.

It is both a blessing and a curse to have so many options for our little ones throughout the summer months. The built-in childcare and routine that school affords is temporarily on hold. And camp coordination, comparison and information gathering can be entirely overwhelming. No one, and I mean no one, seems to follow the same schedule. Couple that with coordination of work schedules, babysitters, nannies and daycare and you’ve got yourself a college level math equation.

My mind is racing as I try and review the options. They could do nature camp, but there are only spots for new members pending last year’s sign-ups. They won’t have camp the second Tuesday of each month, so be sure to come up with alternative care. Or they could do the farm camp. But it’s only offered for two weeks in July. Oh wait- there is that ONE camp that covers all your bases. You just have to commit your mortgage for the summer. Otherwise, good to go. And then of course you find the second camp that covers all your bases, but they’ve decided to release registration in late March meaning you are in some trouble if you wait and don’t get a spot.

As I tried to explain the challenge of the summer schedule to my dear husband, printed monthly calendars laid out in front of us, his head nearly exploded.  There were so many moving parts we ended up erupting laughter at our desks. This is summer, for goodness sake. The very word suggests ease, relaxation and fun— but the planning is nothing of the sort.

I liken summer scheduling to a game of Tetris. There is a sense of panic in the final stages of the game where the blocks are stacking higher and new pieces are coming faster. You had better get those pieces lined up before you miss your spot and the whole schedule combusts. Then you’re back to ground zero. And that is not a place you want to be in early April, mommas. We all know you’ve just jumped to another level of difficulty if you do get there. You had better get your game face on.

I got a message from a Mom a few weeks ago. She was also struggling to figure it out, and wondering what camps we had decided on in hopes of coordinating our young ones. We exchanged some messages, me relenting that I had not yet solved our puzzle. Her simple text brought me such comfort “I completely understand. All the juggling working moms have to deal with. Thanks for letting me pick your brain.”

A couple days later another mom messaged. “Thank God the camp schedule fits my work schedule this year.” Girl, don’t we know what a good feeling that is.

And another, “I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do.”

The reality is, many of us are currently in the midst of this mostly silent struggle of summer scheduling.

Our family has still to date not figured out our schedule, and I do feel the weight of those Tetris blocks coming down. But the messages from these moms were like those perfect Tetris pieces that slowed things down for a bit and relieved the pressure. Hellooo. There are so many moms in this camp. We are in great company. We are all trying to fit a whole bunch of little tiny pieces perfectly together. And while one game might combust, another one is waiting with a fresh foundation.

This challenge will too soon pass. For now, take a breath and know that we’re all in this camp together.

MB note: Loving this post from MotherBoard blogger Lindsay Watson for its honest look at the holiday madness. A must-read for those of us who have struggled with the family photo (true confession: I have only managed holiday cards for one of my nine seasons as a mom)… for those who are lucky enough to have a mom or best pal to back us up when it’s just too much… and for those who know that the real magic is in the little moments. 

Last year, I decided to send out an unconventional holiday card to all our friends and family.  It began as a failure, and ended up being one of my all-time favorites- and not for the obvious reasons.

To me, prepping for a family photo shoot mimics much of what life is like.  You pick the location, plan and coordinate as much as possible, put some candy in your pocket to sweeten up potential sour moments, and then hope for the best.  Last year’s family photo shoot was a “memorable” experience to say the least.  With 3 kids, ages 10, 7, and 2- I was well aware that my odds for the perfect “holiday picture” were stacked against me.  But still we tried.  And from the moment my 2-year old daughter saw that camera, I knew I was going to lose.  Refusing to give up, my husband and I tried every imaginable parenting tool to no avail.  It got so bad at one point, we all just began to laugh.  And later when the proofs arrived, they were just as disastrous as you can imagine. Each picture was a child psychologist’s dream as it depicted the entire dissection of a full blown 2- year old tantrum and how this family handled it.  And as I anticipated, not one picture displayed my dream of 3 delightful and coordinated children along with their adoring and smitten parents.  But upon closer inspection, one proof caught my eye.  It was ridiculously flawed, and profound all at the same time.  As I stared at it, I saw more than just mishap on each of those faces – I saw the essence of family and how we handle the chaos of the holiday season.  In short, that picture represented all that is magical about this time of year.

During the holidays, I definitely feel additional stressors related to being a mom, let alone a working mom.  However, my household reflects what many current studies suggest.  The household chores are divided more evenly than in decades past, but still much of the “magic-making” task is delegated upon my shoulders.  I usually spend my last wakeful hours either online shopping, decorating, RSVP’ing to a multitude of holiday parties, or on Pinterest saving a variety of holiday crafts and recipes which are never completed.  However, I think most would agree that added holiday stress isn’t exclusive to just women.  Men feel it too, but author, Leslie Bella, says that men and women differ in their expression of it.  In her work, “The Christmas Imperative: Leisure, Family and Women’s Work,” Leslie states that, at this time of year, women experience an intense “family making” urge to create timeless rituals and lasting traditions.  Furthermore, a study by The American Psychological Association says that of the general population that reports increased stress at the holidays, women experience on average 11% MORE stress than those male counterparts.  But why?  Is it self-imposed?  Rather than attempt to answer that complicated question, I prefer to tell a story.

Continue reading “Not So Calm, But Mostly Bright.” →

We are so happy to welcome Meagan Mulloy to the MotherBoard blog! Meagan is a public relations executive, mom of two and wife to Mike. She is the only brunette in her family of gingers, right down to their golden retriever pup, Teddy.  An extreme planner with an affinity for family, community, wine and an intense spin/cycle class, she is creatively and passionately navigating through the challenges of motherhood as a professional. Nicknamed “Mighty One” by her dad, she is a resilient mama always trying to live up to that title. 

“You’re so lucky.”

That’s the response I most often get when I tell fellow moms about my part-time role at a public relations firm— a job I genuinely enjoy.

Maybe I am a little bit lucky. But the reactions I get tend to make me believe that many of us feel like work is an all or nothing endeavor.

I get it. Because I felt like that.

After having my first child five years ago I was working in a full-time marketing role. Throughout my maternity leave, I was panicked. I had overwhelming feelings that I could not leave this needy baby for 60 hours a week (including commute). My daughter was small, and had lot of trouble feeding. I felt so attached I was unsure if I even had an appetite to be a professional again, but it didn’t matter— we could not afford for me to stay home.

So I did what I thought was the next best solution. On pins and needles, I worked up all my courage and asked my boss if I could work part-time. The answer was a resounding “no”.

I was devastated. The clock was ticking on my leave.

And then it dawned on me. I had really been thinking all about myself (and my baby), and not enough about my employer. My role was a large one— there’s no way I could have done what needed to be done as a part-time employee.

I went back to the drawing board. I called a colleague, who had happened to have a baby within weeks of me. No surprise, she was also feeling overwhelmed. Together, we decided to approach the organization about a job share.

We were terrified and doubting our value. But we leaned on each other for support and met our boss with our proposal. Continue reading “Don’t Be Afraid to Ask” →